Tuesday, December 30, 2014


Sure, Fearless Fish still has some moves, but the self-proclaimed "town daredevil" is more burnt-out has-been than idol of dozens.  She takes insane risks in the hopes of regaining faded glory, and never backs down from a challenge, even if it could kill her.  After all, what's one more shredded gill, or shattered vertebra, or ruptured kidney, or...?

When encountered, Fish is either tripping balls from all the painkillers, or irascible from withdrawal. She's a hot mess, that's for sure.

Fish wears S.C.O.B.A. (Self-Contained Out-of-water Breathing Apparatus) gear of her own design, and she's enough of a gearhead to trick out vehicles in some pretty zany ways.

After doing something awesome (by her standards, anyway), Fearless Fish yells out, "This shark jumped YOU!" to the annoyance of everyone within earshot.

Fearless Fish
Attributes:  Agility d8Smarts d4Spirit d8Strength d4Vigor d6
Skills:  Driving 8+2Fighting d6Healing d4Repair d6, Streetwise d6, Swimming d8
Derived:  Charisma -1Pace 6Parry 6Toughness 7 (2)
Hindrances:  Habit (Addicted To Painkillers, Minor), Overconfident, Quirk (Showoff)
Edges:  Ace, Brave, Hard To Kill
Gear: Switchblade (STR +d4), Reinforced Leathers (+2 Armor),  S.C.O.B.A Helmet (+3 Armor, +50% versus headshot), Flask (Metal), Toolkit

Friday, December 19, 2014


Story goes that the meanest, nastiest, and orneriest cuss in Tex-Arcana was one farmer Mordecai Marz, a man so heartless that after axe-murdering his wife and kids, he went to the roadhouse, plopped his family's heads down on the bar, and ordered a beer just as calm as you please.  The horrified patrons converged and strung him up from the ol' hangin' tree, and chopped at him with his own hatchet like a piƱata until he expired...

...but the next morning, only a rope hacked clean through remained.  Marz's body was gone.

And, as everyone to their horror soon discovered, he sure wasn't dead.

"Madman" Marz is a brutish, shoeless, shaggy, feral hulk more beast than man, and more dead than alive; he's essentially a zombified sasquatch in overalls.  Marz is stealthy as hell, and caught only in glimpses (usually right before shredding a throat, lopping a head, or lynching a neck).  He can't speak, and only grunts and mouth-breathes.

The old Marz farmstead (which happens to be located on the most wooded fringe of Camp Killalotta....) is regarded as cursed and off-limits, and only the most foolhardy trespass there.  Even other slashers keep their distances, as they don't want to deal with the resident smelly freak and his cellar full of grody corpses.

But Marz is actually easy to avoid, as he only appears if his name is uttered above a whisper in the woods near his home, or in his abode itself.  But there's always some idiot in any given group that yells out, "MARZ, YOU DON'T SCARE ME!!!" or somesuch on a dare...

...and that just ensures the doom of everyone involved, because if he hears you, he'll come for you...

...and if he comes for you, he'll get you.  Guaranteed.

Once awakened / summoned, "Madman" Marz has the uncanny ability to home in on anyone alone. Venturing off by yourself in any capacity—going to look for your missing friend, going back to your cabin, even going to the latrine—on his turf will get you butchered.  Moreso than usual in your typical slasher scenario, even.

"Madman" Mordecai Marz
Unmasked Slasher
Attributes:  Agility d6Smarts d4Spirit d8Strength d12Vigor d10
Skills:  Climbing d8Fighting d8Intimidation d8Notice d6Stealth d10, Survival d8, Tracking d12
Derived:  Charisma -9Pace 5Parry 6Toughness 14 (3)
Hindrances:  Bloodthirsty, MeanObeseOne Eye, Ugly
Edges:  BerserkBrawler, Brawny, Harder To Kill, Improved Nerves Of SteelNo Mercy
Gear:  Hackin' Axe (STR +d6)Rope (50')
Special Abilities
  • Armor +3:  "Madman" Marz is one husky fella.
  • Claws:  STR +d6
  • He Heard You!!!:  Upon saying his name at normal (or louder) volume within a half-mile of his domicile, Marz just...appears.  But it's always on the periphery (up in the trees, deep in the underbrush, etc.), and he'll lurk nigh-invisibly until he can pick off those that conjured him one by one.
  • One With The Woods:  Marz gets +2 to Stealth rolls in forested environs...
  • Stench Of Evil:  ...but while you might not see 'im, you can sure smell 'im.  All victims capable of olfaction get a +2 to Notice rolls whenever Marz is within 20'.
  • Undead:  +2 Toughness; +2 to recover from being Shaken; no additional damage from Called Shots; immune to disease and poison

Saturday, December 13, 2014


You better watch out!
It's pointless to cry!
'Cause if you're on his naughty list,
   all you can do is DIE!!!

Grisly Kringle is the most infamous of Planet Motherfucker's holiday hatchetmen.  He's a hulking, dead-eyed brute in a crimson suit, and carries an axe and a sack full of awful implements ranging from the mundane (boxcutters, switchblades, hammers) to the atypical (fireplace pokers, power tools, flamethrowers) to the ridiculous (gimmicked toys, explosive ornaments, electrified lights, Ho-Ho-Ho-embossed brass knuckles).  The relentless Kringle wages a punishing one-man war on lechery, greed, duplicity, and the people that love them...and he'll eradicate any innocents who oppose his crusade.

Kringle isn't like most masked maniacs.  He's active day and night.  He doesn't haunt a specific locale; no, he roams far and wide spreading Christmas fear.  Kringle's also more "intrusive" in that he actively breaks into residences, inns, and businesses to get at his victims, instead of catching them unaware in the woods.  Dude even straight-up knocks on people's doors, and guts them right there on their porches.

And Kringle is the rare lunatic that frequently runs afoul of children.  When he does, he asks them in a throaty growl if they've been good this year.  Those that answer truthfully in the affirmative are given gifts of weaponry...but the naughty ones suffer just like his adult prey.

There are rumors those other aforementioned calendar killers (such as Baby Grue Year, Martin Luger King, St. Splatrick, Beaster Bunny, The Arbor Barber, All Hallow's Evan, and even The Hanukkiller) are actually Grisly Kringle in different attire.  If true, he may be the most prolific slasher Planet Motherfucker has ever seen, with body counts in the thousands!

No one knows Kringle's true identity, and rumors swirl about his origins.  Some even say he's a robot!

Grisly Kringle
Masked Slasher
Attributes:  Agility d10Smarts d6Spirit d10Strength d10Vigor d12
Skills:  Driving d6, Fighting d10Intimidation d8Notice d8, Repair d6Shooting d10Stealth d10
Derived:  Charisma -8Pace 6Parry 7Toughness 11 (2)
Hindrances:  BloodthirstyMeanUgly
Edges:  BrawnyCounterattackFirst StrikeImproved FrenzyHarder To KillImprovisational Fighter, Killer InstinctImproved Nerves Of SteelSweep
Gear:  Battle Axe (STR +d8), Brass Knuckles (STR +d4)Pretty Much Every Other Weapon EverPadded Suit (Armor +2)
Special Abilities
  • HE KNOWS!!!:  Grisly Kringle is drawn to the treacherous, the cruel, and the depraved, and he always knows lies from the truth.  Good luck hiding your most terrible secrets!
  • The World Is His Workshop:  When Kringle corners a fleeing victim, there is invariably some sinister scenery (rack of antlers, woodchipper, etc.) in the background all ready for conveniently murderous use.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014


Lucifer's Jukebox contains 666 of the rarest, rockin'est, hellraisin'est platters ever recorded by man, beast, and everything in between.  Each 45 therein was made by a musician who sold his soul (as they are wont to do).  The records play backwards on the turntable, and the sound is flawless thanks to the majorly mojo-fied needle: an authentic Crucifixion nail.

You can get 3 plays for one shotglass-worth of blood.  Or 5 for your firstborn.

Lucifer's Jukebox contains every jam a Planet Motherfucker denizen wants to hear while roaring down the blasted highways...and plenty they don't, like Johnny Cash's gospel hymns from the Necronomicon.  Or Bobby "Boris" Pickett intoning The Satanic Mass.  Or Tiny Tim positively shredding passages from the Malleus Maleficarum.

\m/  UKULELE!!!  \m/
The Devil clearly has some quirky tastes.

Every roadhouse on Planet Motherfucker would play a lich-king's ransom to get the jukebox, Satan's wrath be damned.  Just think of the crowds that'd show to cut some sawdust!

Sunday, December 7, 2014


After fraternity hijinks went horribly, tragically awry and claimed the life of his daughter, nebbishy biology professor and master apiarist Hiram Greenlee snapped... and so began his savage campaign of stinging, sticky vengeance against those responsible.  And all these years later, he still vents his wrath against the boozy, the libidinous, and the reckless.

Greenlee is your archetypal silent, stalking slasher,  He's unusually adept at stealth in full daylight, though to instill some extra terror, he often heralds his arrival with ominous clouds of billowing vapor.

Greenlee dispatches victims via sharpened beekeeping tools, a gimmicked smoker that spews assorted gases and dissolving acid, and swarms of hostile bees.  But for those particularly deserving of his entomological animosity?  Greenlee entombs them in custom head-hives to not only inflict some face-based agony, but also manufacture blood-based honey!  And rumor has it these sanguinary sweets may end up as ingredients in the infamous Farmer Vincent's delicacies!

In recent encounters at Camp Killalotta, Greenlee has exhibited a certain ...obsessiveness... towards the more wholesome Final Gals.  Some say he's trying to capture a "new daughter" to rear as his own... while others believe he's *shudder* looking for a consort to serve as his "queen bee"!

Hiram Greenlee, aka "The Beecreeper"
Masked Slasher
Attributes:  Agility d8Smarts d10Spirit d10Strength d6Vigor d10
Skills:  Fighting d8Intimidation d8, Knowledge (Apiology) d12Notice d8+2, Repair d6Stealth d10
Derived:  Charisma -2Pace 6Parry 6Toughness 8 (1)
Hindrances:  MeanVengeful (Major)
Edges:  Alertness, CounterattackFirst Strike, FrenzyHarder To Kill, Improved Nerves Of Steel, Level Headed
Gear:  Weaponized Bee-quipment (Str +d6), Beekeeping Suit (Armor +1), Honey Traps [as per the Ensnare power in the Savage Worlds Super Powers Companion, p. 27], Smoker (creates LBT area of smoke that obscures vision at –4; spews acid [DecaySWSPC p. 25] and knockout gas [Paralysis, SWSPC p. 38])
Special Abilities
  • Bee Legions:  Greenlee maintains hives full of hybridized bees, which attack as a Swarm [Savage Worlds Horror Companion, p. 111]
  • Now You See Him...:  Greenlee can disappear in a cloud of smoke, then reappear when dramatically appropriate, as a free action.