Monday, September 19, 2016

DEADER HOMES AND GOREDENS™ — THE PLANET MOTHERFUCKER DECORATING GUIDE!!!

You viewers of The Haunted Spookshow Of Channel X are well aware of Ye Olde Author's unabashed affection for those chintzy boxed costumes of Halloweens past.  The garish imagery of the garb, the chemical scents that choked store aisles, and the incessant susurruses of children's vinyl-clad bodies informed the Octobers of my childhood.

I love those old Ben Cooper and Collegeville and Kusan duds.  Absolutely love them.  (I was even a Jaws 2 in kindergarten!!!)

So it is with great fanfare and jubilation that I present THE GREATEST THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN:





THEY'RE AMAZING!!! 



THEY'RE HUGE!!!  



THEY'RE BOXED!!!




THEY COME SEVEN STYLES,
ALL BASED ON CLASSIC DESIGNS!!!




Retro-A-Go-Go is taking pre-orders now, for late September delivery.  And at $34.99 apiece, I think they're a total bargain, because trying to find original masks / costumes in decent condition will set you back much more scratch.

Oh!  These are just Series 1—more waves are gonna be on the way!!!

So go pre-order some masks.  They'll look great on the walls of your manic-caves!!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

COULROPHRENZY — A PLANET MOTHERFUCKER NEWS BREAK!!!



All true, all topical headlines devoid of content—THE SENSATIONALISM YOU CRAVE, WITH NONE OF THE CONTEXT!!!