Lucifer's Jukebox contains 666 of the rarest, rockin'est, hellraisin'est platters ever recorded by man, beast, and everything in between. Each 45 therein was made by a musician who sold his soul (as they are wont to do). The records play backwards on the turntable, and the sound is flawless thanks to the majorly mojo-fied needle: an authentic Crucifixion nail.
You can get 3 plays for one shotglass-worth of blood. Or 5 for your firstborn.
You can get 3 plays for one shotglass-worth of blood. Or 5 for your firstborn.
Lucifer's Jukebox contains every jam a Planet Motherfucker denizen wants to hear while roaring down the blasted highways...and plenty they don't, like Johnny Cash's gospel hymns from the Necronomicon. Or Bobby "Boris" Pickett intoning The Satanic Mass. Or Tiny Tim positively shredding passages from the Malleus Maleficarum.
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| \m/ UKULELE!!! \m/ |
The Devil clearly has some quirky tastes.
Every roadhouse on Planet Motherfucker would play a lich-king's ransom to get the jukebox, Satan's wrath be damned. Just think of the crowds that'd show to cut some sawdust!
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