Toys R Us has introduced the most scaredevil group of ghastly drivers to ever wail their wheels in the Monster 500!
And Yours Truly's tapped into the ol' toilet paper and beer stash to attend the creeptastic, cross-country road-wreck that has the denizens of Planet Motherfucker all agape, agog, and a'glaireous!!!
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Leading off we've got Zoom Zombie in his Haunted Hearse, racing for the Team Of The Driving Dead. He's got the guts to win!
Next is Lead Foot in his Road Hog Log, representing the Lunatic Legends. Look out, lascivious pit lizards...you know what they say about missing links with lead feet!
In third position is The Experi-Mentals' team captain, Flattop Frank in his Rage Roadster. LOSING BAD, WINNING GOOD!!!
Straight from the sewers and into your hearts, racing fans, comes the Animal Asylum's very own CrocPot in his Plunger-Powered Flushmobile! He spokes tooth to power!
Drac Attack, captain of the Team Of The Driving Dead, rumbles up to the starting line in his Coffin Cruiser. He truly puts the "artery" in "art car"!
Another Lunatic Legends racer hits the strip, that unbelievably fast outlaw, Captain Heinous in his Uranus Ship. The stars say he's ass-ured to win!
Last but certainly not least is Animal Asylum captain Werewolf Blitzer in his wild, way-out Wolf Wagon. No one handles hairpin turns like this furry fury of the freeways!
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Sadly, gasoline shortages and gremlin-induced mechanical breakdowns (not to mention a flare-up of a certain racer's STDs...yes, plural!) kept Evil Clownevil, Dr. Jerkyll / Mr. Ride, and Turbo Chainsaw Maverick off the track. Hopefully, they'll be with us next time!
And here's some more pics from the pit!
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| His real name is Ramón! |
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| Universal Trio! |
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| Car-azy Cryptids! |
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| A Race In A Case! |
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| They're Also Sold Separately! |
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| Collect 'Em All...IF YOU DARE! |
WANT
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