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Located about five miles north of Gunspoint up the blasted Die-45 freeway, Headstone World is Grueston's premier provider of monuments and memorials for the living impaired.
Sure, ya could git that traditional marker of stone or li'l bronze placard with yer name all tasteful and dainty... but why not splurge for an inflatable, skydancing tube-spook to hex any that dare spit, piss, or worse on your grave? Or an ensorcelled effigy of skull, bone, and Thangs Man Was Not Meant To Know?
Want yer eternal (temporary?) resting place awash in day-glo and neon like Saint Rob Zombie's fever dreams? They can do it!
Want fog machines and spoooooky ambient audio for convenient monster mashes, bashes, and / or champagne jams? Easy! ¡No hay problema! Không vấn đề!
Want caged go-go ghouls suspended over yer tomb to shimmy ya into Oblivion? Only an upcharge away!
Convenient payment plans available in alllllll the currencies: corn-squeezins, fat stacks o' toilet paper; teeth; firstborns; souls. Or even have yer not-yet-interred corpse work it off, reanimation-style, fer only the teensiest timeframe of a year or ten. Whatever works best for yer kinfolk's budget!
Buy today, and git a free dashboard batquarium! Supplies are limited!
(Please note that Headstone World is operated by the necromancers at the ruined campuses of the combined Commonwealth Institute Of Funeral Service and The National Museum Of Funeral History, aka The Necrozone.)
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