Character Archetype: Haunted Hostess or Horrible Host

In the drab, desolate, devastated, Thunderkissed world, you're a bolt of color and a flash of pizzazz. You wield snark like a razor and fire quips like a gunslinger.  You're an entertainer and seer; a caretaker of dead culture and forgotten relics; a librarian of lost lore and mangled media.

And maybe even Planet Motherfucker's last hope, for you KNOW THINGS MAN REALLY FUCKIN' NEEDS TO KNOW.  (Except for all the puns; no one needs those.  Well...okay, maaaaaybe just a few.)

You've had the last laugh, too, and proven all those long-dead nagging mothers and censors wrong...because TV really WAS good for you.

Haunted Hostess or Horrible Host

Attributes:  Agility d6, Smarts d8, Spirit d8, Strength d4, Vigor d4

Skills:  Fighting d4, Investigation d4, Knowledge (Creature Expertise) d8+2, Knowledge (All Things Theatrical) d8+2, Persuasion d6+2, Shooting d4, Streetwise d4, Taunt d8

Derived:  Charisma 2, Pace 6, Parry 5 (1), Toughness 5 (1)

Hindrances:  Big Mouth, Curious, Quirk (Flamboyant)

Edges:  Charismatic, Elan, Scholar

Gear:  Weaponized Accessory (Stabby Cane, Witch Doctor Rattle-Staff, Ventriloquism Skull-On-A-Stick, etc.) (Str +d4, Parry +1, Reach 1), Holy Water Pistol (range: 1 / 2 / 3, damage: Special, RoF 1, 5 shots), Thrown Stakes (3) (range: 2 / 4 / 8, damage: Str +d4, RoF 1), Costume (as Leather Armor, +1 Armor), Backpack, Camera (Regular), Candle, Holy Symbol, Lighter, Mirror, Neck Protector, Oil, Prop Trunk (as Toolkit), Torch

Designer's Notes:  mucho equipment taken from the Savage Worlds Horror Companion

This Is Planet Motherfucker

One of my favorite things in My Extensive Pantheon Of Favorite Things.

It's a work of art.  Bless you, Jason Willis.

Character Archetype: Space Kook

Like other invaders from the stars, you came to Planet Motherfucker for purposes most perfidious. Maybe you're here to conquer.  Maybe you're here to plunder.  Maybe you're just here for the pure, visceral joy of terrifying the locals.

And terrifying you are, what with your skeletal features, hulking build, glowing foot- and fingerprints, nightmarish cackle, and assorted spookiness (like remote-controlling vehicles and conjuring illusory duplicates).  One thing's for sure—you'll have 'em all running scared from your particular brand of mod, metallic, monstrous mayhem!

Space Kook

Attributes:  Agility d4, Smarts d8, Spirit d6, Strength d8, Vigor d6

Skills:  Confusion d8, Fear d8, Fighting d4, Intimidation d6, Piloting d4, Repair d4, Shooting d6, Stealth d4

Derived:  Charisma -2, Pace 4, Parry 4, Toughness 7 (2)

Hindrances:  Outsider, Plodding & Ponderous (as Lame), Ugly

Edges:  Arcane Background (Super Powers), Extra Power

Gear:  Raygun (range:  15 / 30 / 60, damage:  1-3d6, RoF 1, Semi-Auto), Space Suit (as Chain Vest and Steel Helmet)
Power Points:  20     Powers:  Confusion, Fear

This Is Planet Motherfucker

This Is Planet Motherfucker

This Is Planet Motherfucker

This Is Planet Motherfucker

A Monster Rally Most Motherfucker: The Monster 500!

Toys R Us has introduced the most scaredevil group of ghastly drivers to ever wail their wheels in the Monster 500!

And Yours Truly's tapped into the ol' toilet paper and beer stash to attend the creeptastic, cross-country road-wreck that has the denizens of Planet Motherfucker all agape, agog, and a'glaireous!!!

—

Leading off we've got Zoom Zombie in his Haunted Hearse, racing for the Team Of The Driving Dead.  He's got the guts to win!

Next is Lead Foot in his Road Hog Log, representing the Lunatic Legends.  Look out, lascivious pit lizards...you know what they say about missing links with lead feet!

In third position is The Experi-Mentals' team captain, Flattop Frank in his Rage Roadster. LOSING BAD, WINNING GOOD!!!

Straight from the sewers and into your hearts, racing fans, comes the Animal Asylum's very own CrocPot in his Plunger-Powered Flushmobile!  He spokes tooth to power!

Drac Attack, captain of the Team Of The Driving Dead, rumbles up to the starting line in his Coffin Cruiser.  He truly puts the "artery" in "art car"!

Another Lunatic Legends racer hits the strip, that unbelievably fast outlaw, Captain Heinous in his Uranus Ship.  The stars say he's ass-ured to win!

Last but certainly not least is Animal Asylum captain Werewolf Blitzer in his wild, way-out Wolf Wagon.    No one handles hairpin turns like this furry fury of the freeways!

—

Sadly, gasoline shortages and gremlin-induced mechanical breakdowns (not to mention a flare-up of a certain racer's STDs...yes, plural!) kept Evil Clownevil, Dr. Jerkyll / Mr. Ride, and Turbo Chainsaw Maverick off the track.  Hopefully, they'll be with us next time!

—

And here's some more pics from the pit!

His real name is Ramón!

Universal Trio!

Car-azy Cryptids!

A Race In A Case!

They're Also Sold Separately!

Collect 'Em All...IF YOU DARE!